Comments on: Monsters

By: The Monster In Your Head » Remembering How We Got Here

The Monster In Your Head » Remembering How We Got Here — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 19:37:42 +0000

[...] large events, like when my father lost his job, that cause us to take on a new point of view, a monster if you will. In my case, that view has sometimes cost me but more often than not caused me to push [...]

By: The Monster In Your Head » Loneliness and the CEO

The Monster In Your Head » Loneliness and the CEO — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 21:37:39 +0000

[...] induce a sense of responsibility for others’ feelings that-quite frankly– would emerge as a Monster in Your Head. Even the CEO isn’t responsible for how an employee feels about their job. But there is an [...]

By: Find 30mins and watch this now. Do it. « A Dry Idea

Find 30mins and watch this now. Do it. « A Dry Idea — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 23:55:06 +0000

[...] fear. Jerry Colonna writes a cool blog called “The Monster in Your Head” – he had a nice post about those fears. When they were laid off, each of these people were able to discover something they had lost because [...]

By: jerrycolonna

jerrycolonna — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 02:43:19 +0000

I think, Joey, it'd be a toss up as to which form of self-deception is more painful. Both are awful.

By: Joey_H

Joey_H — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 00:25:30 +0000

Great post. Could there be opposite situations where a person has a misguided enforcing belief such as a a self described comedian who isn't funny or a singer with an awful voice? I would think that these would be just as detrimental to a person as limiting beliefs, but almost more painful to deal with.

By: jerrycolonna

jerrycolonna — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 23:51:24 +0000

Excellent example…Thanks Corry.

By: corry

corry — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 21:11:51 +0000

Hi Jerry, great post - thanks for sharing it! It lines up with something that I saw online recently:

http://i.imgur.com/77pfB.jpg

...about how mature elephants can be bound using flimsy ropes (that they can easily break) due to behavior they learned as young elephants. Definitely a good example of a 'monster in your head'!

By: jerrycolonna

jerrycolonna — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 20:10:21 +0000

Well I think there's something very liberating in the simple act of seeing the voice, the refrain, as just another thought and not necessarily objectively true (again, look to Byron Katie's four questions). Seeing it as a just a thought, a perception, possibly a point-of-view held over since childhood (and designed to keep you safe) takes away some of its energy. Making the unconscious conscious, in my view, puts you back in the drivers' seat of your life.
You–the rational adult you–may choose to act in precisely the same way that Monster is telling you to act but the difference is that you've made the choice–and that act is empowering.
One tip, and I'll probably end up recommending this often, is to meditate. Insight (or vipassana) meditation is an especially useful technique for seeing that we are not our thoughts (especially not the thoughts that cause us the most trouble). We are the thinker, generating the thoughts.
A strong meditation practice can help you see the thoughts as puffs of air.
And equally strong technique is anything that brings you out of your head and into your body: dance, yoga, exercise. Anything that turns off the thinking for a while and allows you to experience life in the moment. Great practice for calming the heart–especially if you've got three kids.

By: jerrycolonna

jerrycolonna — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 20:02:19 +0000

Yes. Rehab the Monster. The thought, the perception, is just that…just a perception. The only power it has to influence our life is the power we give it.

By: Julie P

Julie P — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 08:52:48 +0000

Great Blog Jerry, I think the problem with those voices in our head is that they are kind of like my voice to my children – they hear it so often, sometimes it is white noise. How many times can you listen consciously to “put your shoes in your closet.”?

I think we are unconscious to our limiting beliefs because we have heard them so much they are simply part of our routine – our white noise. Do you offer any tips or tricks to living attentively to our goals in every area all the time or is it better to focus on a couple of specialties. I ask whimsically since I am and entrepreneur, married with 3 sons – I can't actually afford to specialize, but the idea is kind of nice.

By: panterosa

panterosa — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 07:27:44 +0000

Unseat the monster little by little or in a surprise attack. But whatever method you use to change the power dynamics on him you must not damage your (inner) enemy in the conflict. As SunTsu says you need the enemy's strength to win. He is too big and too integral a part of you to be cut out, and you will be better off being able to use his resources in the future.

I think monsters need rehab, even as they cry no, no, no.

By: Ryan Graves

Ryan Graves — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 06:17:14 +0000

Ok, you're crazy, and it's awesome. Looking forward to tackling more *real *
issues.
RG

By: jerrycolonna

jerrycolonna — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 06:03:28 +0000

Thanks Ryan. The only reason I do what I do…be it coaching or now with the blog, writing, is to connect with people about real issues. Call me crazy but it makes me happy.

By: Ryan Graves

Ryan Graves — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 05:54:52 +0000

Jerry- I can tell that this blog is going to be a huge success for you. The
time and thorough follow through you're giving to readers comments is sign
number one. Thanks bud.

Looking forward to reading more and following you on twitter.
Cheers,
@ryangraves

By: jerrycolonna

jerrycolonna — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 05:41:27 +0000

Great question and, a little like DebHoward's above…I don't think any of us are served by attacking our own monsters. I think seeing them as creations of our own anxieties (and as strategies designed to keep us safe from real as well as imagined threats) is a huge freeing step. One way of seeing it as just that, just another thought, just another puff of air, is to talk about it (privately, publicly)…sometimes it helps to simple journal about it, or share it with someone. But there's something really powerful about saying it out loud. I'll tell my clients, it's like looking under the bed before going to sleep.

By: Ryan Graves

Ryan Graves — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 03:37:38 +0000

Jerry-

Wow I definitely relate here as I suspect many do. You've answered my first question already and that is, what's the first step? Identify the monster.

But I'm struggling with the next step. Is it to expose the monster or is attacking it privately an option? (maybe I'm being to generic)

By: Tweets that mention The Monster In Your Head » Monsters -- Topsy.com

Tweets that mention The Monster In Your Head » Monsters -- Topsy.com — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 01:22:21 +0000

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Bob Armour, Kiril Savino, edrecovery, Chris Rechtsteiner, Sam Ip and others. Sam Ip said: Monsters http://viigo.im/2f0a [...]

By: jerrycolonna

jerrycolonna — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:31:48 +0000

Thanks Deb. That raises a really interesting question. Should we kill, or let die, the Monsters? I'm not so sure.

By: deborahlhoward

deborahlhoward — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:05:45 +0000

Hey Jerry, the good news I'm finding is that the Monsters need fed to stay alive. They feed on our thoughts and beliefs for sure but their most life giving source seems to be our base feelings or what I now call my felt sense. Thanks to some great insight about the neuroplasticity of the brain from Dr. Joe Dispenza I've reliezed that even a Cancerian women like myself doesn't have to be ruled by my feelings but can change them, change my mind and literally rewire my Monsters out of existance! Thanks for this blog and an opportunity to hear your and others insights and thoughts. Maybe someday you can host a Monster funeral!

By: jerrycolonna

jerrycolonna — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 18:02:37 +0000

Exactly right, Leigh. I showed Michael the post yesterday (I winced that he would be annoyed that I used the story and his picture.) He said, “Yeah. I remember that. I was right wasn't I?”
Where did this kid come from?