Barbers Can’t Cut Their Own Hair

My clients often seem startled when I mention my therapist. I suppose deep down they see themselves as inadequate to the task of living and, hell, if their coach needs help, what hope is there for them?

Or something like that.

But dentists need dentists. And Floyd always went to Mount Pilot to get his hair cut.


Tracey pointed out that I’m mess.  And of course I felt that little tug of shame: Sheesh, what business do I have of “helping” people when I end up spending so much time saying “I’m sorry,” “I didn’t realize,” and “I didn’t know.”

Breathe. Blow a kiss to that Loyal Soldier telling me I should be good, better, best—perfect even. Breathe.  Blow a kiss and let it go.

The thing is, we’re all in this together. We’re a community of helpers, a sangha of fellow travelers, and we’ve got to work together. I mirror you. You mirror me. I hold your heart. You hold mine.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama has/had amazing teachers. Let me repeat that: HHDL has/had teachers. Tells you something about that interdependence principle, eh?

Oh and, of course Floyd could have used a Flowbee but he’d never get it slicked down just right.

  • Peter Cranstone

    I never forget the saying “we’re all ignorant, just about different things”. At some point in our lives we all need help. The quicker we accept that and “learn”, the more rewarding our time on the planet. To help others sometimes it’s important to say that we also need help from time to time – it’s that interdependence thing that is so important.

    After all we’re just imperfect humans hurtling through space on this rock we call Earth (wonder what it calls it). We still so incredibly primitive, and while we have acquired the skills to feed and clothe ourselves we have not acquired the skills to leave peacefully together.

    • jerrycolonna

      And feeding each other is a sacred act.

      • Peter Cranstone

        Yes… and I would also include a survival act. Sometimes you need a good haircut.

        • jerrycolonna

          or a teeth-cleaning…

          • Peter Cranstone

            That reminds me – it’s time for me to get a check up :)

  • Abhay Vardhan

    I applaud you for sharing that. Most people won’t. It shows d
    depth and understanding. As you say, we are all in this together.

    • jerrycolonna

      Thanks. As I once said in an earlier comment/post, I’ve never been afraid to let me ass show.

  • julie_poplawski

    That’s awesome! Transparent and true. The opposite might be “…and the cobblers children go barefoot.” When you neglect your own with what you do professionally.
    Glad you and the Dalai Lama… and all of us who attempt to inspire have resources that make us sharper and clearer teachers. Love your work.

    • jerrycolonna

      Thanks Julie. Yeah, we all need teachers. Luckily, the universe tends to get that and sends them to us all the time.

  • panterosa,

    The first thing I notice about this post is the “safe space” it seeks to create. The Monster is a safe space by design, but this post takes that notion a step further and beckons us to come naked to the the discussion. I am currently reading Crucial Conversations and it quotes “The Pool of Shared Meaning is the birthplace of synergy”.
    Bravo Jerry, I like how you married naked, now, and safe space.

    In the extended “opening” moment I experience now, I wonder what each day will bring, without anxiety. How it will change me, how I will change it? Do I teach today, or do I learn? Or both? And about what? Let the adventure continue.

    I recently watched Kung Fu Panda again and I loved Ugwe, the Master, repeating “there are no accidents”. If you accept this idea then learning experiences change, and by extension teaching changes too. Is there is a way to tap into loveliness in even the meanest circumstances? If you openly accept that purpose or reason will be uncovered, perhaps long after the actual moment of learning, then even learning that you were a complete idiot on many occasions is defanged of sting and venom.

    • jerrycolonna

      I really do try to create a place where’s it’s just okay. I’ve been saying a lot lately that I’m on a mission to get people in companies to actually talk about real issues. Sometimes I’ll do that by goading and sometimes by challenging. By I think I actually have to walk the walk to have any credibility.

      It seems then that in doing so, in leading–if you will-this way, it results in a safe place for others. Hmmm. Maybe there’s something to this whole concept of being open.

      • panterosa,

        I have an image of you climbing the flagpole, ass to the wind, putting up a flag with an image of ass to the wind.

        • jerrycolonna

          And what exactly would be the right “salute” for that flag?

          • panterosa,

            A salute to the “ass to the wind” flag? Why something cheeky of course.
            A full moon.

            A cheek pinch (keep up the good work!).
            A slap to the ass (start again, and this time keep it real).
            A slap to one’s own ass (I’m on a roll).

            Once you have an evil plan, which has a flag, salutes, and a mantra you are on your way to a cartoon…….. By way of previously mentioned openness as a key here, I would recommend the kilt as a uniform, and poster girl Marilyn on the subway grate………. I can’t go much further without drawing………… again I fault disqus on text only responses.

        • Tereza

          you crazy kids. am I gonna to have to separate the two of you?

  • Tereza

    Anyone that thinks they don’t need help…..needs help.

  • Tereza

    I wonder, how much of it is the actual teacher, and how much is the act of carving out the regular time to do the reflection and discussion?

    I’m sure it’s a combination of both.

    Also I’ve again and again been so pleased at the wide, unexpected variety of people who have appeared at different moments in my life to become important teachers.

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  • Steven Kane

    i still think you are perfect.

    • jerrycolonna

      LOL. Thanks Bubby.

  • carolynbekkedahl

    Jerry – I’m trying to practice patience, but it’s been awhile since you’ve posted and I need a fix. Any advice? CB