One observation I've developed over time is that in addition to the mood factor, there are for sure variations in skill among folks in the abilities Stu mentions below — to Envision, to create Reality, and to Critique. You want and need everyone to participate somewhat in all. But not everyone will be able to take you where you need to go. So you have to partition these activities accordingly, and channel them to when you need them in the process.

A few things I've learned are useful. One is that people brainstorm better alone than in groups. Meaning, if you need to generate a meaningful and broad set of ideas, you will have more options if you ask people to come up with their own exhaustive list ahead of time, and have them submit them to you. Some will have 1 or 2 ideas. Some will have 20. Many will be generic. Some will not. If you brainstorm together, some important ideas may get shot down prematurely. And the more people in the room, the less control you have around where the group will land.

As the facilitator, you have to see all ideas, and start anticipating where you want the group to land. Get very smart on the pros and cons of all, ahead of the meeting. Pull aside individuals and learn more, if you have to. Be equipped to vociferously defend any and every suggestion that was made. This is time consuming but important for trust building later.

Then draft out the Guiding Principles — the “musts” of where you're headed. And draft-define the Objective.

When you meet, start with review of Guiding Principles and Objective. Get them to wordsmith it as much as they need. They need to own this. This is where the accountant says “needs to be in budget”, HR says “needs to energize our people”, etc.. A lot of it is motherhood and apple pie. But they need to have their say.

Next you post everyone's brainstormed suggestions, with no identification or judgment attached. This is where you apply judgment as facilitator of whether they need to know an idea showed up 6 times or just once. Depends if it's a legitimate future prospect, or a relic from the past you need to kill.

Anyway, what you do next depends on the task at hand. It may be a strategy, a work plan, a budget. But bottom line you are sorting, evaluating, clumping, elevating, sub-classifying and rejecting based on the Criteria, Objectives, and where the group is going. You are pivoting, but this is OK, because you studied these ideas, know them cold, and the contributors respect that.

I recognize there's often not time for this preparation. It's a highly bespoke approach and requires about twice as much prep time as group meeting time. And they need advanced notice to submit their 'homework'. But when you can, it reliably delivers strong results.

Finally, although using 'And' instead of 'But' helps it has become somewhat hackneyed. We really do know what you mean. Linguistically I've found using 'Although' to be more powerful as it balances both the idea and the objection.

These are great posts and great discussions. Keep up the good work Jerry.

You and Cranstone both see the need for the But Head…you're re-phrasing it to “vocal realist” really helps me see that we're saying the same things.
You also helped me see that the But Head is probably someone who's got inner challenges. Doih! Of course…I should have seen that. Sometimes the coach is oblivious!

You've reminded me, though, that but heads aren't necessarily naysayers, but vocal realists. In fact, such a trait could be a major benefit during the creative process, keeping the brainstorming anchored in what is possible, as opposed to what is merely imaginable.

Patty Melt Mondays are no place for a but head. It's a time where everything is on the table and invariably the best idea won't surface until the last 15 minutes of the meeting (should't last more than 2 hours)

This is in direct contrast to the confront reality as it is meeting where being a but head is critical and welcome. Every startup gets out of whack sooner or later. It's life – get over it and confront reality as fast as you can. For that you NEED the but heads.

For vision I need patty melt mondays. No product managers, no but heads, just pure dreaming about intractable problems.

After that – without the but heads nothing gets to done. Innovation must be tempered with customer reality and validation.

I once had a Board member who would chastise me every time I used the “but” word. He hated it. So from then I wrote and spoke without the “but”. However (a lesser but) I learned that even a but has its place. You just have to use it wisely.

Excellent post as usual.

I like my workshops to have a lots of energy – thats the number 1 rule. So I have incorporated a lot of techniques from the Improvisation theatre like energizer games etc. 1 game I play often with people is to get them to try out 3 scenarios of planning a picnic between 2 people. In the first scenario, each person has to make a suggestion which the other person would actively reject. In the second scenario, each person makes a suggestion and there's a reluctant acceptance (with a lot of buts) of that suggestion by the other. In the 3rd scenario, each person makes a suggestion which the other person would follow up with “Yes And” and use that to build up on that suggestion.

Smart people quickly realize that the endgame is not about making the other person miserable, but to build up on their idea to get to a different destination. Ultimately realities kick in and when they do come in, its with a lot of laughter (“You got a But sandwich with you for picnic”) and make s it more palatable

…….and it takes alot more courage to make to make an investment or a decision to – to say yes, into the unknown, than it does to point our what might not work.